Handfasting and witch pairing, are two forms of relationship and working agreements between two people.
Handfasting is a relationship through life and outside of the coven as well as within, while witch pairing is a working arrangement for activities within the coven only.
Handfasting to all witches is similar to marriage. However there are considerable differences.
The period is set by agreement, and can be as short as a day to as long as all lifetimes. The two most common are for for this lifetime and for a year and a day, which of course means the equivalent of a wedding anniversary is a renewal for a further period.
The terms can be agreed like a contract, financial, ownership etc.
It is usually one male and one female but could by agreement be any other arrangement, and the relationship can be exclusive, open or subject to agreement in the future.
Handfastings can also be dissolved by a high priest or above at the request of both parties, or at the request on one party when the relationship can be shown to have not been practiced for a year and a day.
Hand fasting rituals can be performed by any witch, and should normally be done in front of a full inner coven. It can also be performed as a part of a gateway ritual. Higher witches can perform it on themselves or others without the coven being present.
The exact wording can be set by the coven or written by those taking part in the handfasting. The only critical part is that it is essential that you state the terms, period it is for that you wish to be handfasted, and hold hands voluntary and together step over something. Traditionally this is either a broom or ceremonial sword, but could be anything. The concept being passing a gateway to forma new part of your life. This as we have written it does not sound all that romantic, but can be written to be as romantic as you like.
Handfasting is far older than marriage which is a fairly new invention, the older method was just to make a statement and take to woman home, crossing the doorway completed the operation for many in middle England. Handfasting was often undertaken by blacksmiths, and hitting the anvil with his hammer was the earliest form of ring, and then stepping over something. Traditionally handfasting served as a public statement that two people were now one.
Handfasting is not recognized by legal authorities in any country as far as we know. If witches want to have their relationship recognized for legal or financial reasons or just to keep others happy they will also need to go through a registry office civil ceremony.
If you want to find out about the full history of handfasting and marriage a good place to start is by finding the Gretna green, Scotland, tourism site and looking for information on the old blacksmiths shop. Their is also a public exhibition, and marriages are again being carried on their.
Witch pairing involves a very much simpler ritual pairing up witches, one male and one female as working partners within magic and ritual. They would not necessarily have any relationship outside of the coven, beyond possibly preparing for the coven sessions.
Where members of the same coven are handfasted, they can ask for this to form their working pair arrangement as well.
Often witch pairing is done by the high priestess, and is more of an allocation exercise than a matching operation. When the number of people in the coven or balance changes the high priestess should look to re-pair people, however they should also allow them time within each pairing to form a reasonable working partnership.
Like handfasting pairing involves people holding hands and stepping over something, but the statement is usually made more as an announcement within the coven and usually before a circle is created. A higher witch can declare a couple to be paired, without a coven being present.
In some covens there is a misbalance of males to females, and in these cases witch pairings can be performed where there are more of one sex than the other, however every pairing must include one and only one of one of the sexes.
When a senior witch from another coven is invited along an arrangement should exist to pair them up if they are not bringing a pair member with them. When the visiting member is a king, queen or high king, it is customary for them to be offered the choice of partner for the event, although they should be told in advance of any pairs that are necessary to hold together so as to make the ceremony or activity being organized work, or those that are handfasted, and any others that should be avoided for any reason.It may also be helpful to arrange for these to act differently on his or her arrival, such as kneeling before them, while the rest bow.
Although pairing is normally only done within a coven, it is sometimes done in order for training or experimenting to take place, and sometimes within a working study group or circle that have not yet formed a coven. If no high priest is available as in the case of a new group then the people being joined as a pair make the statement themselves.
In a small number of covens, they have a rotating pairing arrangements that switches after every three months. This is designed to allow more experience to spread through the coven, however we do not recommend this.
It is common practice within our covens for working pairs to study something and present it to the coven or to lead a sabat or other event.
Many paths have a similar arrangement and it allows working relationships to be formed and stops a large amount of swapping of partners. We look on it as an organization move as opposed to a ceremonial one, and covens can define how it will work in their own case allowing for some parts of pairs only to be present on some occasions.